Be yourself

Gandhi said …

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

At a very deep level, we can tell when someone is being truthful, authentic, and well-meaning. In spite of the most honeyed tongue, someone who is a fraud does not fool us forever. We seem to have a kind of ‘radar’ for this.

Our radar gets contaminated and doesn’t always work, though. We may be conditioned to over-ride our instincts. To think so little of ourselves that we do not trust our own reactions. Or we may have had the misfortune to have been influenced by someone who was not authentic at so young an age that we internalized it as being okay, acceptable. (It depends though – the effect is not always the same – it may make us de-sensitized to authenticity – or more sensitized to it.)

Either way, the key to sensing authenticity is first and foremost to be authentic ourselves. Trying to tell the truth even when it is very uncomfortable may be liberating, and empowering. It makes us more authentic. And it clears up that contaminated radar – we become better at sensing the truth about others.

Interestingly, con-men and fraudsters are harder to detect as inauthentic than other people. This is because their body language and the other clues that tell us whether someone is authentic or not, are not out of kilter. This in turn is because they feel no internal dissonance or discomfort when they lie, unlike the rest of us. But even they give themselves away at some point, sometimes because of a kind of flatness or lack of depth.

To see it, be it. You will be far happier and waste less energy if you are authentic and do not try to be something you are not.

And, as I am always saying, why bother to make money (or anything!) dishonestly when it is so much easier to do it honestly!